Somewhere Over The Rainbow
by LiizzzyyRAWR
Summary: "And there you have it, Rachel. Your ultimate dramatic ending." Finn said, sitting next to Rachel's grave. Twoshot.
1. One

"And there you have it, Rachel. Your ultimate dramatic ending." Finn said, sitting next to Rachel's grave. The funeral was yesterday. He didn't make a speech. He couldn't. Not when he was part of the reason she was gone. He decided to come to her grave by himself. He placed a bunch of flowers amongst the others. He looked up at her headstone.

**In loving memory of**

**Rachel Barbra Berry**

**December 18th 1994 - February 15th 2011**

**Daughter, Friend, Star**

**_"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself"_**

Finn held the envelope in his hand. It was pale blue and had '_Finn_' written on it in Rachel's neat cursive handwriting. He hadn't opened it yet. He was too scared to. He had received it from her fathers the day after he found out about her death. He knew what it was. It felt like if he opened it and read it that would be the end. No more Rachel Berry. This was her last contact. What did she say? What was the last thing she wanted him to know? He turned the envelope over and looked at the seal. A gold star. He slowly peeled the sticker off, not wanting to rip it. He pulled out the fancy paper and unfolded it. A photo fell out, Finn picked it up, it was him and her at Regionals, wearing their gold and black matching outfits. Before they went on to perform. They were smiling. Finn put the picture down and picked up the paper.

_Dear Finn,_

_First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I had to leave like this. I'm sorry that it had to end this way. _

_You are amazing, Finn. You really are. The most amazing guy I ever met. I know you don't see it, but I do and I know I'm not the only one. You are handsome, kind and talented. That's a rare combination. Don't ever change who you are. Because who you are is what I love._

_Knowing you, you'll be feeling responsible. And I'm telling you now; Don't. It's not healthy, and it's not your fault. You didn't kill me, you saved me. You saved me time and time again. You saved me when I quit Glee Club, you saved me after Jesse and you saved me just yesterday, Valentine's day. Don't think for a moment that you could've stopped what I __have done. There _is_ a reason, but I'll get to that soon._

_I want you to know that I love you. I always have and I always will. Okay, I know you know that now, but I wanted it to be here, in writing, so you'll always know. I loved you and you loved me and I loved that you loved me. Not many girls like me get a chance with a boy like you. So this is me thanking you for giving me that, even if it didn't last as long as I hoped it would. But what ever does? I forgive you for everything, like I hope you forgive me._

_There is a photo in this envelope. It's my favorite photo of us. This my last request for you: Please find a frame, a nice one that you like and put it in. I'd like you to keep it somewhere. Even if it's in a drawer where you can't see it. I want you to have it. I want you to keep it forever. And if you have children one day, when they point to the picture, please tell them my name. Tell them about me. Tell them that I hope they shine. So when all that's left of me is a headstone, in some strange way I'll live on._

_I have a brain tumor. It's inoperable. I found out a week ago. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to try talking me out of doing what I'm about to do, or not talking me out of it. If I didn't end my life now, the only thing I'd have to look forward to would be pain and hospitals. That's not how I want to spend the last days of my life. I wanted the last day of my life to be a good one. And it was. It was lovely. I left Breadstix feeling so much happiness and joy. It was perfect. Ending on such a high, it was more than I could've hoped for. That's how I wanted to be remembered. Happy and alive, not sick and dying. I'm not scared of dying. I'm only scared of leaving everything behind._

_Let's be honest. We both know I wasn't really well-liked. I didn't have many real friends. People will be shaken up, but it'll pass. Life will go on. People will remember that one time when they were in high school a girl committed suicide, they won't remember my name, they probably won't even remember my face. __One day I'll just be a distant memory. Hopefully you and the rest of the Glee Club will remember me better. I had the time of my life in Glee. It was always the best part of my day._

_It's strange writing this. There is so much I want to say, but I just can't seem to get it out in words. And I don't want to ever stop writing, because once I stop writing, that's the end. These words are the last words I get to say to you. But this has to end. Everything has to come to an end. Yes, I'll never be a star, I'll never have my name in lights and I'll never perform on Broadway. I _was_ upset. But I came to terms with it. I had to. I read somewhere "It's hard to leave - until you leave. And then it's the easiest goddamned thing in the world." It may sound weird to you, but it's what gave me the courage to move on. I can't waste the rest of my life wishing it would slow down. _

_I hope you lead a good life, I hope you find happiness and love. I hope you never stop singing and smiling. I'll miss you. I love you, Finn. Please don't ever forget me._

_I'm somewhere over the rainbow now._

_Rachel_

Finn was crying, it wasn't the first time he'd cried since her death and he knew it wouldn't be the last. He took the small solar powered star shaped lamp out of his pocket and placed it in front of her headstone, so she'd never be alone in the dark. It was corny and he knew that, but he didn't care. Finn knew he'd never forget Rachel. He didn't think he could even if he wanted to. She wasn't the kind of person someone forgets.

* * *

**Author's note: I had read a couple of fics where Rachel died and in the ones I read she seemed to leave vengeful messages behind. I don't think she'd do that. No one wants to be remembered as a bitch. So I wanted to put my own version up. I'm not sure if I should just leave it or add one more followup chapter. You're thoughts would be appreciated.**


	2. Two

**Thank you SO MUCH for all your lovely reviews. I decided to do this little (Okay, not so little) follow up chapter because I couldn't get it out of my head. It turned out a lot longer than I thought it would be. I swear it wasn't meant to be this long. Sorry. You don't have to read this if you wanted to just leave it as it was. Anyway, here it is. Enjoy.**

* * *

Valentine's day was never the same for Finn. It always reminded him of the last time he saw Rachel and the heartbreaking news he got the next day. Valentine's day reminded him of when he would see long dark hair within the crowded halls at McKinley and for a second he would think it was Rachel, before he remembered that she was gone. Valentine's day reminded him of that week in Glee, when no one sung and all everyone did was cry. Glee hadn't feel right without her. The pure fact it was called _Glee _didn't feel right. Nothing had felt right without her. Valentine's day was no longer the day filled with heart shaped chocolates and flowers and love. It was the day filled with thoughts of Rachel Berry; what could have been and what should have happened. And every year, the feeling was the same.

* * *

_She was wearing white. It was her usual attire; short skirt, knee socks and a cardigan, with mis-matching patterns. It was what she aways wore, but this time it was all white. She was singing, he could tell from the look on her face, the way her lips were moving and her eyes were sparkling, but he couldn't hear her. Like she was muted. His footsteps echoed loudly in the large back space as he walked closer to her, but she was still silent. He tried to remember what her voice sounded like, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. She didn't seem to take notice of him. Like he was invisible to her, and maybe he was. A chair appeared beside him and he sat down, watching her as she sung. Puck and Jesse appeared in the darkness and started walking towards her. They stood behind her, like Santana and Brittany used to stand behind Quinn. They stood there, watching over her, like they were being her guardians. They were the people that helped her when Finn had hurt her. The people that had helped her after he made mistakes. He felt sick. Suddenly. She stopped. Jesse and Puck seemed to fade away and it was just Rachel standing there. Frozen. He stood up and ran towards her, but as he got close to her he froze too. He was facing her their eyes locked. A tear ran down her face and she turned and walked away. He tried to follow her, but his legs wouldn't move. He tried to yell her name but no sound came out of his mouth. He helplessly stood and watched her walk into the distance. Until she was gone. Until she was nothing. Just a tiny white speck in the distance. Like a lone star in the night sky._

It was Valentine's day. Finn woke in a cold sweat. Fifteen years later and he still dreamt of her. The dreams were never exactly the same, but they were never too different. Sometimes the dreams were strange and abstract, other times it was like it was real life, and he woke up surprised that it was all a dream and disappointed it wasn't reality. He rolled over and looked at his sleeping wife. She really was beautiful and smart and funny and he did love her. But she wasn't Rachel. She'd never be Rachel. Finn sat up on the bed and opened the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Sitting on top of all the junk was a silver photo frame with a gold star in the bottom corner. It had the picture in it. The one Rachel had given him and asked him to keep. He ran his fingers over the glass. They looked so happy. He recalled how it was just before he told her he loved her. It was one of the best moments in his life, singing with Rachel. He felt the bed move as Olivia woke and then her arms around his shoulders. "Good morning." she said happily, then she noticed the photo frame in his hands, she moved around and sat next to him, her hand on his arm. She knew about Rachel. Finn had told her everything. She didn't know how to feel. She was a little jealous, that Finn still loved her, even now. But she couldn't hate a girl who had so many dreams, only to have them shot down by a brain tumor. She couldn't hate a girl who had committed suicide to avoid a long, painful death.

It wasn't the first time she'd seen him looking at this picture. This was the picture that was on his desk in his dorm room when they met at college. At first, it worried her. Finn wouldn't tell her who the girl in the picture was, but he promised she was no threat to them. She believed him. He was a tall handsome young man from a small town in Ohio on a football scholarship and she was a art major from Washington with a bright future. She had dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes. They got married and now lived in Seattle, Washington, she was an artist, a painter. She worked from home and her artwork went for small fortunes. Finn had wanted to play football professionally, but he lacked the confidence. He gave up that dream to teach PE and coach the football team at the local high school. After being there for a year, he convinced the principal to let him take over the Glee club when the old director retired. He enjoyed this life, working at a high school was fulfilling. He liked helping the kids, he loved coaching Glee and football, the two things he loved most about high school.

Finn put the photo back in the drawer and followed his wife downstairs. It was Burt's 60th in a couple of days and the family was headed to Lima, Ohio for the big party. Finn wasn't sure. He put Lima behind him a long time ago. Only returning every now and then to visit. Mostly, he got the family to come up and stay with them. He'd only been back there five times in fifteen years, and he'd never been back at this time of year. His son, Chris came bounding down the stairs. It amazed him how much energy he had at this time of the morning. Chris was named after Finn's father. He had always hoped to name his son Christopher if he ever had one. Christopher Hudson, just like his father. Chris was eight and energetic as ever. "Dad!" He yelled as he came down the stairs "Are we going on a plane today?"

"Yes, we are." Finn smiled. Chris had never been on a plane before and he had been counting down the days.

"How about you go back upstairs and wake Rachel?" Olivia suggested. Rachel was five, she had dark hair and dark eyes like her father. Finn wasn't going to name her Rachel, until she came out with her already full head of dark hair and looked at him with her dark brown eyes. He couldn't not name her Rachel. Luckily, Olivia agreed on the name. Chris ran back up the stairs. "Finn, are you alright?" Olivia asked as she sat down next to him, sliding over a cup of coffee.

"Yeah. Just...Ohio..."

"I know it's hard, honey, but it's just something you have to do."

* * *

They touched down in Ohio in the late afternoon. Then made their way to Finn's parents' house. "Grandma!" Chris and Rachel yelled as they ran up and gave Carole a hug when she opened the door. She smiled at Finn and Olivia and Finn kissed her cheek. They were just in time for dinner, Kurt and Blaine were already there. Kurt now was a successful fashion designer, he lived in San Francisco with Blaine, who's third album was coming out next month. They had done well for themselves. Finn couldn't remember the last time the family was together like this. Then he did, his wedding, the day he married Olivia.

Lima hadn't changed much. Everything was pretty much the same. Kurt told him that Mr. Schuester still taught Spanish and directed Glee at McKinley high. Finn thought about dropping in on him to say hi. Mr. Schue had helped him a lot. When Quinn was pregnant, when he found out the baby wasn't his, when Rachel died, he helped him get a football scholarship and get into college. Finn wanted to stop by and say thanks, he owed it to him.

* * *

The next day was the 15th. The 15th of February. The 15th anniversary of Rachel's death. The night before, Kurt and Blaine had invited Olivia out, to shop or something and Burt and Carole won the kids over with a promise of a trip to the zoo. Finn was alone. He was glad. Somehow, he thought maybe it was planned. They knew that even to this day, the 15th of February was not a good day for Finn.

Finn started his day by saying goodbye to his wife and kids. He borrowed one of Burt's cars and headed to the apartment where Mr. Schue used to live. Hoping that'd he'd still be living there. A young girl, around 11, with blonde hair and answered the door. Finn began to doubt that Mr. Schue still lived there. He asked if a Will Schuester still lived there and the young girl turned around and yelled for her dad. Then Mr. Schuester came to the door. "Finn Hudson?" He asked with pleasure when he saw Finn standing there.

"Mr. Schue." Finn smiled.

"Wow, I can't say I expected you to be knocking on my door. Look at you, all grown up." Mr. Schue said as he and Finn shared a quick hug. He invited Finn in and Finn told him about his job and his wife and kids. Mr. Schue informed him of his married Holly Holiday and the girl that answered the door was their daughter, Sally. Finn left after spending about half an hour catching up with his old teacher. He then drove around town for a while until he passed the house the Rachel used to live in. He thought about dropping in on her dads. To show them that he still cared for their only daughter. He fought with himself until he finally gave in to himself and turned around. He knocked on the door hesitantly. After a while Hiram Berry opened the door. Then looked up and down at Finn. Like he knew him from somewhere, but couldn't think of where.

"Hi, I'm Finn Hudson. I was a friend of Rachel's fifteen years ago."

"Of course! Come in." He stood back and let Finn walk in. The house hadn't changed. The walls were still covered in photos of Rachel. "It was nice of you to drop in. I hear you live in Seattle now."

"Yeah, I do." Finn said awkwardly.

"How can I help you?"

"Actually, I remembered that you were filming at Regionals. When we did the Journey Medley. I was wondering if you still had a copy of those tapes." Finn explained. As he finished Leroy Berry came around the corner.

"Finn Hudson? Fancy seeing you." he said. Finn smiled.

"I think I have some copies of those tapes that you can have." Hiram said as he left the room. Leroy asked about Finn's life and Finn told him about his wife and his two children, and how he had named his daughter Rachel, after theirs. Leroy smiled at this. Hiram returned with a disc in a little plastic sleeve. He handed it over to Finn. "You can keep this copy. We have plenty." he said.

"Thank you. Are you sure?"

"Yes. We have plenty of copies. We don't want to lose them if our computer breaks or something."

Finn left the Berry household feeling a pit in his stomach. The last time he was there Rachel was alive. Fifteen years ago. He could hardly wrap his head around it.

* * *

Finn went back to Burt and Carole's house. No one was home. He put the dvd Hiram Berry had given him in the player. He saw himself emerge from the back of the auditorium and start singing.

_Highway run, into the midnight sun._

_Wheels go round and round, you're on my mind._

Then Rachel emerged from the curtains and started to sing.

_Restless hearts sleep alone tonight._

_Sending all my love along the wire._

Finn burst into tears. It was the first time he had cried over Rachel in ten years. Hearing her voice again was like...being brought back to life. He was watching them singing on the dvd so intently that he didn't hear the door open behind him and he didn't hear Kurt, Blaine and Olivia return.

_Boy, you stand by me._

_I'm forever yours._

_Faithfully._

He cried as he watched and he didn't move when Kurt sat next to him and put his arm around his shoulders. He just stared at the screen and remembered when they were young and he was in love and how they felt when they sung that song. It was one of his most cherished memories, now it was here. Caught on tape. He watched the rest and looked over at Kurt to see him crying as they sung Don't Stop Believing. Once the video was over, Finn stood up without saying a word and headed back outside and towards the car. He drove and drove, with tears in his eyes. Why did he ask for that video? Why did he watch it? It just brought back everything he had run away from. He drove past the place where he and Rachel used to hang out after school, he drove past McKinley high and he drove past Rachel's house again. He pulled into the cemetery and ran towards Rachel's headstone, after all these years, he still knew exactly where it was. He sat down next to her headstone and cried. He cried for her, for him, for her dads, for her long lost dreams. After calming down he knew he had to go back to his family. He couldn't do this to Olivia, it wasn't fair on her. He felt bad not leaving anything, but he didn't bring anything to leave. His light was still there, it was extremely faded and worn by the sun, it probably didn't even work anymore. He dug around in his pockets. All he had was a notebook and a pen. He took the pen and wrote on a page. He then found a small stick and pinned the piece of paper to the ground, so it wouldn't blow away. He turned and left then note blowing in the wind.

_I'm forever yours._

_Faithfully._

* * *

When Finn returned home with his family he took the photo frame out of the drawer in his bedside table and put it on the desk in the study, next to the one of Olivia smiling at the beach holding Chris and Rachel.

* * *

Rachel was 10 when she asked who the pretty girl in the picture was. Finn pulled her onto his lap and told her the story of the girl she was named after. He told her about her singing voice and her annoying, but somehow delightful personality. How she had encouraged him to be great. He told her about Glee and how Rachel had changed his life. He told her of Rachel's life and why she died.

* * *

Finn Hudson had a wonderful wife. He had a job he enjoyed. He had two beautiful children. The one thing he didn't have was Rachel Berry.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Your thoughts are appreciated. :)**


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